Feedback for your latest chapter.

Chat about the Genesis project and storyline
Shane
Posts: 937
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2001 9:10 pm

Feedback for your latest chapter.

Postby Shane » Tue Dec 11, 2001 6:27 pm

I'm guessing that this part of the forum is the right place to give feedback on your latest chapter rather than the update section? Anyway I think I disagree with Dave that it's the worst episode, I actualy think in some ways it's your best to date. I like the pace and the dialogue is, as always, straight out of the show, with the characters acting and speaking as they should. It's still Star Fleet but there seems to be a more military feel to the action, and a lot of new sci fi shows's influences are deninitely filtering through I cans see bit's of Babylon 5, Farscape etc. But hey that's no bad thing. I didn't like the end of the chapter very much, Having Shiro's helmet metamorph in an Imperial style with eye patch etc. is a little gimicky, and although there's nothing wrong with it as such (I mean it is sci fi) for me (and this is just my own personal view) it didn't quite fit with how you have written the other chapters, which I have found have been fairly regimental, true to life almost. Obviously this Imperial being of yours must weild a fair bit of power, but I always like the fact that the conversion process in the show is much more mechanical and in person. ( Makara and Carter) Anyway that was just a small mater of personal taste rather than a genuine gripe. I think I will wait untill you have finished your story before I launch the completed Revenge Of Makara comic pages. I've plotted the story and action scenes and have a good dozen or so completed pages with loads of single images and sequences that just need to be sorted. I know Dave and Mike have been interested in keeping a continuity, and I will certainly try and bring over all the stuff that has happened in your story into mine in some way and I will try and give Dave and Mike a slight idea of the Star Fleet situation at the end of my story, but as a fan I am going to try and tell my story my way as you have done yourself Andy. I just hope that I get some feedback from it as we both know theirs not a lot of that forthcoming, and it really does help to get you motivated.Anyway Keep going Andy only a few more chapters to the finishing line.
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AndyThomas
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Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2001 12:42 am
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Feedback for your latest chapter.

Postby AndyThomas » Tue Dec 11, 2001 7:05 pm

Thanks Shane - fascinating that 2 views should be quite so far apart!  Given my current influences, and indeed the way I tend to visualise things, it would certainly be fair to say that there is a fair amount of battling in Genesis - but I think if it forwards the plot, it's worthwhile.  Which is why, as I mentioned in my reply to Dave (and yes, you posted in the right place, well done!) it may seem that it jumps a bit - I didn't see any point in trying to describe X number of fights - there're still some to come anyway!I think I know what you may be thinking about the transformation of Shiro's helmet - but it isn't quite as random as you may be thinking.  In that, as powerful as the Heir is, he couldn't conjure up a symbiote out of thin air or control anyone at that range - which is why Herc and Lee have just been knocked out cold.  There's a really, really small clue as to why this has happened to Shiro in one of the earlier chapters.Hmmm.  How to hint without giving it away.... Well, suffice to say that Shiro thought the Halley ambush was suspect in the last chapter.  More than that, I ain't saying!  As you say Shane I try and keep to the spirit of the series, but I'm also thinking with a more modern view, so there will be an explanation of the helmet thing...Dead mysterious eh?!
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